My Older "Little" Sister

Lizzie foolishly walks away from her computer in search of a popsicle. Pat enters, takes seat upon Lizzie's squishy balance ball thing, strokes chin mischievously, and begins to type.

"Dear people in Lizzie's life:

This is Pat, Lizzie’s younger brother. Soon I'll have my own account on this blog and permissions to publish in her absence. But for now, don’t be fooled by the name down there, this is 'Authority' speaking.

Anyway, back to my point, Lizzie's absence. On August 22, mi hermana will be leaving on a jet plane for Quito, Ecuador. She won't be back until July of 2008. Internet access isn't always going to be available to her, and with our 20+ (and growing) members in this family, there is no way she'll be able to keep up with everyone by e-mail - or even on facebook - so here is the new place to go.


But here's the deal, there are some ground rules for the blog:

(1) This will be my sister's main way of communicating with all people in the U.S. while she is gone. This includes our parents and close family friends. Please respect this website.

(2) You can e-mail her at smile4me24481@yahoo.com, or send her a message on facebook, but don't expect an immediate response, or even that she'll receive it within a short period of time. She's probably going to have very limited internet access for very short intervals. So here is my brilliant advice to you if you want Lizzie to see what you have to say to her: post the comment on the blog. It's easy, you click on the comment thingy next to the posting time. She will read them on a (ir)regular basis.

(3) You can post comments to anything that my sister (or I) may write, but Lizzie has a massively multicultural group of friends and family that will be reading this blog - seriously people, from college friends to church members and grandparents. So, for you college students with your colorful language who like to call my sister slightly altered in the middle of the night, watch it. Not everything you find acceptable will please my grandmommy. I'm watching all of you."

Pat sneezes. He then notices that 20 minutes have passed and remembers that he ate the last popsicle. He closes and locks Lizzie's bedroom door with a chuckle.

"(4) With that, if you're going to get personal and cry to my poor sister while she's over 3,000 miles away, take a little more effort and e-mail her. You already know her e-mail address (like, um, up ^)... so keep the personal whining on the blog to a minimum. She's a nice kid and won't mind e-mails, but if it's within my range of power (i.e. the blog) we might have some issues, people. One other thing though, "The Doctor Is In" service that I frequently overhear many of you people calling for over your love life crisis', etc., will be temporarily unavailable. Please let her enjoy Ecuador. I would be happy to substitute in her place for you, but I'm not as likely to sugarcoat the issue (example: "no... he doesn't love you, it's over" or "that was just plain stupid, running from the police doesn't ever end well") and you'll likely want to hold all concerns until the doctor is back. Seriously though, all joking aside, I know she cares about all of you immensely, but try to remember that she's not going to be able to be in contact as much during her time away. Please respect this and let her enjoy her year abroad.

(5) If a posting is in Spanish, and you don't know Spanish, it probably doesn't pertain to you. Please, kindly, get over it. :) I will too, 'cause I don't know da Espanol.

(6) She's not always going to be able to post. If she can't post at a certain point in time (like if she's not in Quito), I'll be keeping up her blog. Don't freak out on me, everything I say has come from her in one way or another, and she's probably fine. If I decide to throw in the occasional kangaroo/crocodile or two, just humor me, okay? If you have a question/comment/concern/UFO sighting/weird thing to say that will probably make me laugh at you, about the status of my sis, post it and I will respond to the best of my knowledge. My point is, Lizzie will be traveling for time periods that may be two weeks or more, and she won't be able to post. Don't freak out.

(7) FYI, in all seriousness, my sister's blog is public, and for a reason. If you know people who know her, feel free to share this address. But DO NOT harass my 5 foot, 3 inch "little" sister. Note: uncle has access to many jet planes, I take the general respect of my family seriously, and I expect it. I also often have a few days to kill. Last summer my sister was attacked by a squirrel... if you can find that squirrel, ask it how it's doing. Last I checked it had taken up knitting and extensive community service as a daily routine."

Lizzie begins to knock furiously. Pat looks around for means of escape.

"(8) Last - remember, Lizzie isn't leaving the U.S. until August 22. You may be reading this sometime in May - June - July - and/or early August, but she's not going to be posting on a regular basis until sometime around when she leaves. For now, she'll be teaching little kiddies to climb/hug trees at a summer camp (go ahead and laugh at her, I certainly am) and will be working for 11 weeks in Harrisonburg. (Do you even know where that is? Seriously, she tells me these things and once again, I need to break out the atlas...) She'll probably send out another e-mail around mid-August to remind you about the blog, but just in case things get too busy, you have the address now - bookmark it and please feel free to pass it on. In fact, please pass it on, it will be less work for me.


And that concludes this segment of Pat's power trip. Like I said, I will soon be an author of this blog, so don't be fooled by the girly name for now. This is Pat. Peace people. Pat out."

Pat flees the scene.

Quito!

Hey y'all. This is the blog website that I'm going to be using once I go down to Ecuador in August. Feel free to read it (and to write) so that we can keep in touch. I'm going to miss all of you mucho mucho!!!